Before coming to BHOPB I was addicted to working out, diet pills, and alcohol. I learned during my treatment that even as a young child, I never thought of myself to be as pretty or attractive as the other girls were in my class. Feeling very insecure about my looks led me to take in all the typical teasing of my young classmates to heart. I carried this unnecessary burden through my grade and high school years and eventually into college. Aside from all the pressure on grades and academics, I also felt (or created) the pressure to be accepted by my new peers. I realized for the first time then that I could act on my intense desire to physically change and began hitting the gym everyday religiously.
During my therapy sessions I identified that my problems began for me when I reached my target weight, but then instead of maintaining, I continued to increase my workout time and intensity, week after week. I didn't know it then but I was chasing a never-ending goal. Around this time I also started experimenting heavily with alcohol for the first time in my life. My daily routine continued like this throughout college: working out fanatically between classes and drinking hard after them. I learned that it was my version of speed balling by pushing my body naturally to its physical limits only to rebound and relax by heavy drinking in the evenings. Most importantly, these hobbies did achieve in getting me noticed by guys and popular with the other girls. While both of these routines, although in excess, were under relative control at the time, everything was thrown into chaos when I began taking diet pills.
Special order caffeine and metabolism boost pills eventually gave way to Adderal, Hydroxycut, and other forms of speed. This punishing concoction of pills was like dumping gasoline on an already raging fire of hard training, hard drinking, and hard studying, leaving me with virtually no time for anything else. Like with all fires, I eventually burnt myself out but didn't know it was due to the recent addition of my diet and energy enhancing pills. It was a recipe to slowly lose one's mind, and everything fell apart for me as soon as I finished college. By this point it was apparent to my family, myself, and everyone else that I was just not the same person, physically and mentally, and needed help to break my 3-pronged addiction.
Fortunately I found Behavioral Health of the Palm Beaches when searching for dual diagnosis treatment. I was most impressed with reading how BHOPB is a true dual diagnosis treatment facility. How your dual diagnosis program could identify the underlying psychological factors that were triggering my addictions. It made perfect sense to me when reading how you needed to treat both my physical and mental drug and alcohol problems simultaneously for my treatment to be successful and not relapse after I left rehab. It was also during my dual diagnosis treatment that I was able to look introspectively for the first time inside myself and realize why I had developed my addictions. By the time I finished my treatment at BHOPB I felt fresh, tranquil, and most importantly sober. I knew exactly what I needed to do to stay addiction free for the future too. I could never have done any of this on my own. Please thank all of your great counselors, doctors, and staff there.