During my recovery, I discovered not only my strengths and confidence in sobriety, but an underlying disorder I never even realized that was responsible for my drug use. I guess during all those years of clubbing and raving, taking, and mixing whatever uppers I could was really to compensate for my naturally low self-esteem and mood. Depression was what I was diagnosed with at Behavioral Health of the Palm Beaches\' Dual Diagnosis treatment program, and it was the main reason for my chemical dependency. I remember feeling constantly blue through my teen years, but my counselor there explained to me how drugs like ecstasy, meth, and other stimulants dump incredibly large amounts of the natural â€˜happy\' chemicals serotonin and dopamine to receptors in my brain. They also were the first ones to tell me all the terrible side effects of prolonged use such as my brain always undercompensating, producing even less mood balancing chemicals. I didn\'t realize it at the time, but my nightly dose of these psychoactive drugs was growing just to support my mental deficiency, and when the rush was over, I would only feel that much deeper in the hole of misery which I dug.
By the time my family hit me with a drug intervention, I was already willing to give anything else a try, because I knew I could not go on living like this. In hindsight, I know it saved my life, and I have never been so grateful and optimistic about the future since completing my dual diagnosis treatment at Behavioral Health of the Palm Beaches.