Do addicts ever stop thinking like addicts?

A few weeks ago I was listening to the radio while doing paperwork at the office. A commercial came on advertising a web site that offered to deliver to my home or office any form and any amount of alcoholic beverage I wanted in a very short time. I chuckled for a while and thought about the days when they would have needed a very big truck to haul the load. After going back to my paperwork for a few minutes I had another realization. The realization was that I hadn’t heard any other commercials. All the other ones were tuned out. I couldn’t recall anyone selling cars, clothing, restaurants, or anything else that normally gets advertised on the radio. The only thing that got through to this addict was that I could get booze delivered!

This is only one example of how my disease keeps playing games in my head 26 years into recovery. There are no white knuckling cravings anymore, but I think it’s the games that the disease plays that are so cunning, baffling and extremely powerful. We need each other because we will always think like who we are.

A newcomer told me the other day, being as honest as he could be, “I haven’t thought about using today.” Doesn’t that mean he thought of using?

– Dr. Michael Weiner, PhD, CAP
Director of Education, Assessment and Research
Behavioral Health of the Palm Beaches