The harmful, vicious cycle of abuse

You dare not express your opinion. Running late, you break out in a cold sweat. All day long, your focus is on doing things their way. But in the end, it doesn’t really matter. Because no matter how hard you try, you always get things wrong. You can never please them. They yell. They mock. They put you down. And you believe that you are truly unintelligent, bothersome, and unimportant. When someone you love is addicted to drugs or alcohol, you run the danger of falling into a harmful relationship pattern: that of codependency.

As a codependent person, you become excessively involved in another person’s life and view yourself as the root of the problem in your interpersonal relationship with this individual. You may think that your feelings aren’t important or that you don’t deserve love. And you may blame yourself for being treated abusively or in a derogatory fashion. But every person has value. And no one should be held accountable for another person’s shortcomings.

In a healthy family, the floor is open for the expression of emotions. You are allowed to say what you feel, explain your viewpoint on matters, and have your own opinion, without fear of recriminations, humility, or scorn. However, a codependent person commits all actions on tiptoe, constantly striving to achieve perfection in the other’s eyes, while all exchanges confirm and reaffirm the deep seated belief of his own complete lack of worth. The attempts to please are constantly met with further derision and perpetuate a never-ending cycle of low self-value. In such a dysfunctional family, emotions, thoughts and opinions are stifled, and the environment of the home is one of anxiety and stress. These harmful interactions can continue even after a person has recovered from his addiction, as an injurious pattern has already been established.

Throughout the years, as a codependent person, you can completely lose touch with your own emotions and believe that it is only what the other person thinks, wants, and feels actually matter. But when a loved one is an addict, you must constantly remind yourself that you are not the cause of the problem. And that this isn’t something that you can fix. Abusers need professional help to overcome addictions and you need help to break out of this harmful cycle of codependency and rebuild your self esteem.

Learn more at A Hero's Journey

By calling us right now at Behavioral Health of the Palm Beaches, anytime day or night, 24/7 TOLL-FREE at (888) 432-2467 you will learn with the help of our proven successful specialized Codependency program that you are a person of great value whose opinions, thoughts and feelings matter. You are entitled to and deserve respect and the right to live a happy and fulfilling life.

Call us right now because the time has come to start believing in yourself!